This time of year I do not have enough time to get everything done. It happens every year. Not enough time to cook, shop, do laundry, call friends back, sleep, finish projects, start projects or anything else the holidays demand of me. There is a bit of true chaos swirling around me lately. Instead of visions of sugar plums dancing in my mind as I sleep, I have visions of mistakes and forgotten tasks. Exhausting!! And then yesterday, I experienced a moment of total disbelief. I wish I could tell you that I could not believe something someone else did. But I can’t because, I did it.
Yesterday, while driving home after a wonderful lunch with friends and family, my car was making a funny sound. I listened to the sound all the way home. (Most people would have pulled over to find the source of the sound, but not me…not enough time.) The look on my sweet husband’s face when he pulled up beside me at home was impressive. His eyes were huge and his mouth was open. I hesitated before I rolled down the passenger window. When I did, he simply said, “What are you doing?” I was not sure how to answer because I thought I was simply getting out of my car. Then he said, “You are practically driving on your rim. You have a very flat tire.” To my surprise, I did have a flat. The source of the noise. My tire is completely flat.
At this point I wish I could tell you that I was truly surprised, but honestly I wasn’t. You see, seeing my flat tire made sense. Four whole days before this moment (96 hours exactly), my “low tire pressure indicator light” came on while I was driving down a highway. (Cars are so smart.) Every time I turned on my car, I had to turn off the warning telling me a tire was low. Did I check my tires? No. Instead I remembered a time before when the indicator light came on and it was a false alarm. Coming up with that thought took less time than walking around my car to check my tires.
After I saw the tire, I simply carried my 40-pound purse into the house. I put down my life-in-a-bag and sat down. I was shocked. I was amazed. I was impressed. I had ignored the warning lights, continued on with my ridiculous schedule and almost ruined a tire rim all in a matter of four days. Why? Because I was pretending that I did not have enough time.
Today, that flat tire continues to speak to me. I reminds me stop. Slow down. Breathe. Take care of the important things. Because if I keep pretending I do not have enough time, I will probably do more damage than I intended to do. This is true for relationships, jobs, friendships, children, self-care and of course tires. And if I keep pretending that time is the problem, I will always keep moving too fast. Time is not the problem, I am. Somethings need to be taken off my daily list and somethings need to be put back on that have fallen off lately.
I remember today that God made us human beings instead of human doings.