Reality visited me this week (aka God’s clear voice). We are here to GIVE and not RECEIVE. That was it. Thankfully it was delivered gently from a friend over a delicious cup of hot tea. But it was delivered. It stung just a little bit too. Not because of the way it was delivered, but because of its truth. I know it was God’s voice, because first it silenced me and then it liberated me.
For some reason the words lifted burdens off my shoulders that I had been nourishing and feeding for a while. The burdens had become very comfortable right next to my ears. My burdens like to whisper little lies to me throughout my day, just to remind me that they are still there. Lies like, “I deserve something different” or “If I were in charge…”. Little secular lies that make me believe that I am in control instead of God and that tell me I know more than my Creator.
If suffering is “whenever we are not in control”, then you see why some form of suffering is absolutely necessary to teach us how to live beyond the illusion of control and to give that control back to God. Then we become usable instruments, because we can share our power with God’s power.
Ever since I clearly heard God’s voice, I feel that I have been like that rich young man that visited with Jesus about eternal life. The one that simply walked away after Jesus told him to sell all that he had and give it to the poor. Then Jesus turns to his disciples and says… As he watched him go, Jesus told his disciples, “Do you have any idea how difficult it is for the rich to enter God’s kingdom? Let me tell you, it’s easier to gallop a camel through a needle’s eye than for the rich to enter God’s kingdom.” Another visit from reality.
But instead of walking away, I have been squeezing myself through the “needle’s eye” simply to shave off all of myself that I need to leave behind. It is a painful process to give up control (again!) , but I know that I am not willing to simply walk away. I am walking around a little bit lighter now.