What do you do when you are told to stop? That has been my question since February. It has been haunting me because I do not have a quick answer or an easy one. Stopping sounds dreamy until it is real. Then it is not dreamy anymore. It is a waste of time…only for slackers…not an option. (My inner thoughts sound like a normal American…produce, produce, produce.)
My stop sign was put up while I was peacefully sleeping one night or maybe when I was in the Starbucks line ordering my soy chi latte. Someone dug the hole and planted the post beside the road far enough away that I could not see them doing it. If I could only find the person(s), I would make them give me names. (Now I am starting to sound like a book I just read…selfish…revenge…anger.)
But I am a person of faith. In fact, I am a pastor…faith is my business. Yes…I have been told to stop going down the road I was on. Yes…I was surprised. Yes…I have grieved. My other questions have been…Where is God in this? Who else did God ask to stop in the Bible?
The first person that comes to mind is Martha. Poor Martha (Poor Meredith??) She was about so many things. So much busyness. So much stress. So much planning. For Martha, it was time to stop. It was time to be humbled. It was time to be teachable.
As I see my stop sign shining on the horizon, I find myself stepping off the pavement even a little sooner than I have to step off. I find myself not answering all the questions but simply living with the questions knowing the answers will come on a day I least expect them. Then I will know but it won’t matter anymore.
Until then I am going to walk off the pavement… on the dirt…on the grass for a while to remember what it feels like to not have a plan or an appointment. Each day may feel like a gift and that is worth stopping.